Merry Christmas!!!!

To all those still reading.

The month of November was a busy time for me. I was on ID consult and I had one day off a week and many nights I was rounding till 7, came home, put Landen to bed and went right back to work on charts. The month of December hasn't been that bad. I have been on acute care clinic so I get the weekends off. I have biopsied, stiched, and aspirated joints this month and my left hand hasn't limited me much at all. The thumb is progressing still. I am able to now pinch the thumb between my index finger and middle finger. Something I wasn't able to do in the past.

Landen went and visited Santa but did not like him at all.

Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I start my Cardiology rotation in January so I will be spending many hrs in the hosptial next month so maybe I will check back in in February.

Happy Halloween

Hope you all had a safe and happy Halloween. Landen was dressed as a lizard but we didn't take him around trick or treating because he is still too young to eat a lot of candy so we didn't think it would be right to take him around so we could eat the candy. He had fun answering the door and hand out candy. Here is my little lizard.

As for work, I have finished one month now. Things have continued to go great. I have still not had any back pain. This next month I have infectious disease. Bring on the swine flu. I still have not got vaccinated because the hospital does not have any vaccines. They have a few that they are only giving it to pregnant workers and if they have vaccinated all pregnant workers, and still have some left then they are giving it to pregnant patients. They have plenty of the nasal vaccine but that is a live vaccine and with my recent splenectomy, I do not feel safe with a live vaccine. I called the health clinic and told them my situation and asked if I could be considered for the injectable vaccine since I am high risk but they didn't think so, so I remain unvacinated because I refuse to put myself at risk by getting the nasal one. This rotation will be more busy with me being on call and all and having to work weekends. Hope my back remains to not hurt.

Landen's 1st birthday.

We had Landen's party on Saturday and it went great. He got lots of toys and clothes and he absolutely loved his cake. He ate almost the entire thing.

Work Update

A brief update on how work is going: I havent had any back pain at work which is very good and I am still able to come home and cook dinner and take care of Landen when I get home without any pain. I do wake up in the morning stiff and a little sore but I am using muscles a lot more than I use to so it is like the same as if you go to the gym, the next day you are stiff and sore. I am able to type with my left hand and do so fairly well. The only finger that wont type is my pinky. It doesn't have enough strength to push down the key. I don't type as fast as I use to but I do fairly well. My arm is tired and sore at the end of the day from typing but it is good therapy for it. As for other parts of my life, my hawkeyes are doing great. 6-0 start, best start since '85. I dont go to the games but I do go tailgating before the games. Yesterday was a cold game. We tailgated for about 5 hrs and then came back here to watch the game. I froze outside, I had tons of clothes on but the wind was strong and since I still cant drink because of my meds, I didn't have any beer to warm me up. My hand gets really stiff in the cold. Friday Landen turns 1. I cant believe how fast this last year has gone. He is still not walking but I know he will soon enough. He gets into everything now but he is adorable. His new thing is throwing all his food on the ground if he is done or doesn't like it. The 1st time was cute and we laughed and took pictures, now it is getting quite annoying.

My updates will be few and far between from now on. I am not a blog person and dont really have the time to start. If I liked having a blog and telling people all about myself everyday, I would have started a blog earlier. I will updated periodically if anything changes but the only big thing left in my healing is my arm and it will be a very slow progress so there won't be much to post about each day. Sorry for all of you that check this site daily looking for an update, but with work now and taking care of an active child, I need to spend my extra time picking up the house or studying. I will post some pics after this weekend of Landen's party. I really hope he smashes the cake into his face.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's back to work I go.

Well the time has come for me to return to work tomorrow. I am a little nervous but I am ready for my life to try to return to normal. My program has been so understanding through this process which I am so thankful for. I am starting on Rheumatology which will be an easier rotation but it is also what I think I want to do with my life so I need to perform halfway decent so that maybe I have a shot at a fellowship here. There are some days where I wonder if I suffered a little anoxic brain syndrome (brain lacking oxygen) because there are times when I am asked something that I should know and just cant think of it and then after thinking about it for a while, it finally comes to me. Hopefully everything comes back to me when I start back.

The Flu, Swine or not, it still sucks.

Just for a quick update. I'm still hanging in there, not much new to report. We are struggling with the flu in our household currently. Landen started with it, I got a very light bout of it, and now Tim has it pretty bad. I guess I get to take care of him now. I am shocked that with my problems that I got off the easiest of the 3 of us with the flu. Mom's don't have time to get sick right?

Update: So my light bout of the flu was just a teaser to the hell I would endure last night and am still enduring. I have stopped counting how many times I have thrown up. My body aches all over. It is hard watching landen when we are both sick.

Weight

So my weight is really starting to drive me nuts. Some of you that havent seen me since the accident still remember me at my normal weight of 145 lbs. What do I weigh now, a whopping 125lbs. I am 5'7'' and weigh 125lbs, that is not right. I use to think I would always love it if I weighed 125lbs when I was 145lbs and now that I am at this weight I absolutely hate it and would give anything to get back to my previous weight. Of those of you keeping track of my weight gain since leaving the hospital, that is a total of 0 lbs gained. None of my clothes fit, not even my bras fit. I am sick of wearing a belt with my jeans just to hold them up and then see them bunch up in front and back. I refuse to buy new clothes because I am determined to put weight on. My body use to be happy at 145. I could eat almost anything I wanted and my weight would vary only slightly up and down. Now I was still active and worked out but I never had to work out consistantly and watch what I ate to maintain my weight. Bad thing about this was my body never allowed me to lose much weight when I tried either, which I thought I always had wanted to do until now. I feel right now that I am constantly eating and its not doing anything. I have this weird thing with my body that when it gets hungry, it doesnt just growl, I get this pain in my left side just below my ribs that travels around to my back and just gets worse if I ignore it and dont feed myself. It is something I have had even before the accident but only came on before if I was absolutely starving, now it comes on with the slightest hunger so I am having to constantly eat. I finished off an entire bad of cheesy quick tators from Schwans in less than a week by myself (oh so yummy). I dont eat healthy by any means. I think I have had more donuts since the accident then I have had all last year alone. The only thing I dont eat much off is fast food, 1) because that would get expensive & 2) I dont feel the greatest after eating it. There are days where I think I shouldnt work out because then I will just burn off anything extra I ate that day but I know I need to continue to work out to build my muscles back up and get my cardio back up so I am not worn out just walking up and down stairs. I always wondered when people said they couldnt gain weight, I thought it had to be easy, you just go crazy eating anything you want. Well I feel like I am doing that and my body has other things in mind.

On to another topic, I have now finished the 3rd book in the twilight series and am desperately waiting on the 4th and final to arrive in the mail, hopefully today. I also taped the new series on CW called the vampire diaries and will watch it today. It is based on the books and I am hoping it is good.

so Friday I had my appointment with trauma once again. They have a new resident and new attending each time I go in. So the resident comes in and starts by saying, "so, tell me what happened, whats your story" Obviously he had not reviewed my file. I started in on my story and he goes "wait, are you a resident here" I was like yeah, he goes "internal medicine, right, I heard about you" That was the same response I got last time. i think the whole hospital knows my story now. So I waited and waited around then for the attending. By 10:35, 1 hr and 20 mins after my appointment time, and 5 mins late now for my OT appointment, he comes rushing, listening to the residents story of me as they are coming down the hall, puts his hands on my chest and asks me to take a deep breath in, then proceeds to tell me that my left side doesnt rise as well as my right so I need a chest x-ray now to make sure I dont have fluid in my lungs. I proceeded to tell him yeah, there is scare tissue there from broken ribs and surgery and why would I have fluid on my lungs after 2 months and even if I did, I was asymptomatic so they wouldnt do anything about it anyway, we would just watch it to make sure it reabsorbs. I asked if I could just get it done next Wed when I have to get x-rays of my back for my neurosurgery appointment for which he said, no it must be done today (so urgent, I mean I was dying of not breathing right there) but I could refuse them if I want. I told him, no I would do it but after my therapy appoint as I was already late. So I went to my therapy appoint and then went and got the x-ray and went back to trauma for the results and what did they find..........scar tissue, big surprise. what a waste of resourses. Then the resident was pondering when to see me back. I said how bout prn (as needed). I told them there was no point for their followup as I had no tubes anymore and was feeling fine from a surgical stand point. On a non medical point, I finished the 2nd book in the twilight series today. 560+ pages in the book and I started it Wednesday night. It is seriously that good I couldnt put it down. I have now started the 3rd. 600+ pages this time. We will see how fast I read this one.

So some of you want to know about my boring life right now. I went to the gym finally yesterday and plan to make it a routine. I am trying to get myself back into shape. I finally finished the 1st book in the twilight series. It is so good I couldn't put it down these last few days. After I finished it, I went straight to the movie store and rented the movie and watched it right away. Is it bad I was so envolved in the movie I didnt want to stop it to go pick up my kid from daycare. The movie was good but the book is so much better. Today I went and bought the next 2 books in the series and if I finish them soon, I will have to buy the 4th in hard cover as they told my it won't be in soft cover till well after christmas. I highly recommend it to you all to read. My son has a nasty cold and coughed and fussed last night so I held him upright and rocked him for half an hour while he slept in my arms and let the congestion drain down. He is the most adorable thing ever and I wish I could take his cold away from him. Today I mowed the lawn in segments as we have a push mower that is not self propelled so it was tiring but I did it. It was good exercise for the day. This weekend I plan on going tailgating for a while. If you want to join me, just let me know. That is all for my boring life now. I am ready to go back to work, I just wish my back and stamina was.

Just letting you know I am still here and kicking. Nothing new to report. Still going to therapy 3 times a week for my arm and it is slowly progressing.

one less med

Well I have decided to completely get off the anti depression med completely. I feel like m PTSD was almost entirely composed of the anxiety component and not the depression component and my anxiety has basically resolved. I told my therapist that we will see how things progress once I am off of it and if I feel I am getting worse then we will discuss something different. Other than that, not much new to report. I am slowly seeing progress with my hand each week. This last week I gained function in extending my middle finger. Not quite sure why only just that finger can be extended and not any other ones as anatomically based on how the nerves go it doesn't make sense why just that one has come back and not the others and the orthopedic surgeon didn't have any good answer but hey I will take any progress I can get. I can kind of flip people off now, maybe that was god's purpose in giving me that function back first. Who knows.

I think I solved the headaches

So I think I solved the headache situation as I have now had 2 headache free days. I hope I am not jinxing myself. About a week and a half ago I met with my therapist again and once again she mentioned using an SSRI (a type of depression med) for my PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) She felt it would give me energy and also it had a side effect of weight gain. I finally said well lets just give it a shot and see. These meds you cant just start at a dose, you have to build yourself up. She wanted me at 20mg, that is what she starts people at. I took 5mg for 5 days, then 10mg for 5 days, and the 20 mg. On the 10 mg I was feeling the best I ever had, with lots of energy. After having one of the worst headaches on Sat night I sat down and thought of what had changed. I had slowly weaned myself down from my anxiety meds and my pain meds and I didnt think a rebound headache would last this long. Then I realized that the time the headaches started was the time I went from 10mg to 20mg on my anti-depressant. I looked up the side effects and discovered that headaches were a side effect along with insomnia which I had recently developed and orthostatic hypotension (blood pressure droping when standing up and getting lightheaded), also something I recently developed. So Sunday I went back down to 10mg and I have not had a headache since. and the insomnia and hypotension have improved. Hopefully I remain headache free. We'll see on Wednesday at my next appointment whether she wants me to stay on this or switch.

The drain is out!!!

So today I had my appointment with trauma. The attending was in surgery so the intern was just talking to him on the phone. He came back into the room and told me he was going to pull the drain. I questioned him as I had just been to interventional radiology on Wed, the ones that put it in, and they didnt want to pull it because they wanted the drainage to be less than 20ml per day and it had only been like that for 1 day. Trauma however said they pull it if it is less than 50ml. I made the intern call the attending back and tell him that IR didnt want to pull it on Wed so was he sure he wanted to pull it and he said he was. I got no happy juice for him to pull it, he just went ahead and pull. Oh yeah, need I mention it was stuck on something which I think was my pancreas. He kept pulling and I felt like my insides were going to come out of the whole. I could feel it coming from my back and then I felt a rip and it came out. Didnt actually hurt that bad but felt incredibly weird. I did ask him how many of these he had done before. I know how it is like to be the intern and need experience but I wasnt about to be a guinea pig without an attending there watching but he assured me he had done several of these. I am suppose to call if I have any pain, which I do now but it was just pulled so I am expecting some pain and it is tolerable. I will call if it gets worse or lasts all weekend. Hopefully everything heals up nicely. On a good note, I have been off my anxiety meds for a week now and also off my strong pain meds for 4 days. I am only on tylenol now. I have had a headache all week since Sunday that has not been touched by tylenol, advil, or even Percocet. I told trauma about it and they want to send me to neurology. I will go but I also decided to try a chiropracter today since I figured something may have been twisted in my neck from the fall to the concrete. I told her she was not to touch my back which she highly agreed, and even took x-rays of my neck first before touching my neck to make sure there were no fractures. My headache starts small in the morning and usually by 6pm it is kinda bad. I am happy to report that it is still minimal at this time and I havent taken tylenol in a while so I am hoping a couploe tylenol will nix it. She also has this new technique that she uses these tools to get under scars and break them up. I said I was all for that, anything to try to get my hand back I will try. She did a little today but was hesitent to do too much without seeing the x-rays and knowing what was under it so I signed a form to reloease my x-rays to her and will return on Tuesday. All in all I had a very busy day. Time to relax now.

CT Scan

Well the CT scan went well today. It was non-contrast so I thank goodness I didnt have to drink that nasty contrast. It showed all pockets of fluid are gone but since I am still having outputs more than 20 ml they are going to leave it in and re-check next week and possibly pull it next week. That's all to report today.

We are cursed!!

Once again I get a bad phone call today. My cousins little daughter broke her arm really bad today. The ambulance took them to their local hospital and the doctors there told them to get right back into the ambulance and head to St. Louis where she needs to see a specialist because it is bad. I dont know if she had surgery tonight or if she will get it tomorrow. Please pray that everything is okay with her and she recovers well. She is to young to go through this. This is he 2nd broken bone this year.

As far as I go, today was unfortunately a bad day. I guess with all the good days I have had lately, I was bound to have a bad day. I didnt sleep well last night and had a mild headache that would just not go away, and then all day I just had absolutely no energy. Luckily I didnt have any appointments at the hospital today to wear me farther down and could relax. Tomorrow I have a CT scan to check the pancreas.

Once again, everyone be careful with everything you do this year, it is not a good year.

Well that was not fun!!!

So today was my EMG appointment. I really didn't know what the EMG entailed as I really had never seen one done although I had actually ordered one for a patient in the one week I was actually a resident and she was not very happy afterwards and said it hurt so I was expecting some pain. The test has 2 parts, the nerve conduction study and then the actual EMG. So a tech performed the nerve conduction study 1st. She placed some electrodes on my fingers and then she shocked different areas of my arm. First she would start with low voltage and the turn it up with each shock. The low voltages felt like a tiny shock. Like when you stick you tongue on a 9V battery. By the high voltage it was more like sticking your and on an electric fence. Not fun. When it came to the radial nerve, she was shocking me and I was getting no response. It worried me that that nerve was really damagedbut she said it could be just because she was hitting scar tissue since she was right on one of my scars so she turned the voltage up to the highest power and still nothing so she went and got the staff physician. He came and told her to try different area, mind you still at the highest power and wow did that one connect. I about shot off the table. Then the resident physician came in for the EMG. This part involved sticking what looked like to be a 25G needle into my arm and one in my hand which hurt the worst and he didnt just stick them in, no, he wiggled them around. So I dont know exactly all the results and what they mean as I wasnt thinking straight after all that but what I do know is that my ulnar nerve is what is the most affected at this point. I dont know what the surgeon that did the surgery thought about the ulnar nerve as he only made comment on the radil nerve and how it had been pinched but not severed. I felt all zings from the electrode go all the way down all 3 nerves so I am unsure why the muscles in the hand innervated by the ulnar nerve do not work. Could the nerve have possibly been pulled and so diverting branches were broken off but the main branch is still there? Any ideas from any one? I have my appointment with the orthopedic surgeon on Monday to view the results and basically find out answers and whether they think I need a surgery or not again or if we just wait it out.

On a side note I have come to the conclusion that if you have known my family for a long time, please be extra, extra careful the rest of the year. Once agin someone we have known for a long time has had an accident and is hospitalized and could use your prayers. A guy my parents do hay business with was unloading a hayrack off a semi when he slipped and the hayrack ran over his neck. He was lifeflighted to Iowa City where he underwent surgery on his broken neck and had another one today. This happened on Friday and he is doing remarkably well. He has all feeling in his body except for mild weakness in his right arm. Once again, god works miracles. Please everyone becareful with everything you do and always tell those you love that you love them because you never know when it will be your last. Have a goodnight.

The days are slowly getting better. I seem to have more energy lately and mornings aren't so rough for me anymore. Some days are more painful lately but I just keep telling myself it is good pain because they are pushing me harder each time in therapy. I do therapy 3 times a week on my arm. It is painful but I push through it as I want my function in my arm to come back so bad. I have full function in my wrist, it is just weak and still slightly restricted in full motion by scar tissue in my arm which therapists are working at breaking through. I don't have full movement in my fingers yet and that is what is frusterating. I have EMG studies on Monday that should maybe give answers on how my function will develop. I heard they hurt though so not looking forward to that part. A lot of you get worried if I don't update daily. I may not update this weekend as I have nothing new going on this weekend so my update would be pretty boring so don't worry, I don't see another hospital stay in my future hopefully anytime soon. I will give another update on monday after my appointments. Hope you all have a great weekend and I am very jealous of all of you going to the fair. I absolutely cannot wait till this time next year so I can take Landen to the fair. It will be so much fun because he will be at such a cute age to show him all the animals. Happy Friday.

Yesterday was a long painful day. I didn't sleep well at all because of the pain and my mind was just racing. You know when you lift weights for the 1st time in a while and the 2nd day after is always the most painful, well that is what Wednesday was for me since I had had occupational therapy on Monday that had kicked my butt. I had it again yesterday and I was so tempted to cancel since I was in so much pain but I pushed through it and went. I had physical therapy today so my back is probably going to hurt tomorrow. Not much else to post about. Mornings are getting much better for me so that is good. Tomorrow I go to my primary care doctor just because I want someone overlooking my well being and overlooking what all the specialists are doing. I am going to ask him to draw blood to check all my kidney and liver functions and then also my vitamin levels just to make sure everything is functioning well. Hope you all had a great day. Enjoy the fair if you are going,

Today is a painful day but I keep having to tell myself it is a good pain, a healing pain. Yesterday I had my 2nd occupational therapy appointment and not only did he work on my arm, but he noticed that my posture was horrific so he stretched and pulled at the muscles of my back and shoulder. I was so worn out after the appointment that I had to pull over halfway home and just lay back and relax before I drove the rest of the way home and I don't even live that far from the hospital. So of course I woke up this morning with very sore muscles. I also walked 1/2 mile yesterday on the treadmill without stopping at 2.8mph. Most of you are probably thinking, oh wow 1/2 mile, not much there but for me and the condition I am in, this is a huge accomplishment for me and I was very proud of myself. Course I immediately collapsed on the couch for a while immediately afterward but I did it non the less. Today is a day of relaxing since all I have is a visiting nurse appointment this afternoon and I have another round of therpy tomorrow along with my psych appointment so it is going to be a long tiring day tomorrow.

Here are a few pics of the storm that came through last night. It looked scary but didn't really do a whole lot.

While I am adding pics, I will make this a happy post and post some pics of the most adorable baby in the world and I am not biased at all.

Good Day

Today was a pretty good day. I slept pretty good last night. I did wake up pretty sore because I did some physical therapy exercises yesterday. My mom and dad showed up today and we went to the mall. Of course they found me a wheelchair because I knew I wouldn't be able to walk that far without tiring easily. We got a protein shake mix at GNC to help with me gaining weight. All my doctor friends reading this, how much is too much protein in one day/ in one sitting, for only one kidney to handle? Each scoop of powder is 21 grams of protein, the GNC guy said I could always put 2 scoops per drink. I just don't want to overload my own kidney. After we returned from the mall, we all took a nap and then grilled hamburgers on the grill. Then the storm hit so my parents waited it out a little before heading home. We got some really cool pictures of the front moving in. If I figure out how to post a picture on here, I will share them soon.

8/8/09 8:30pm

Well today started off kind of rough. I actually got a lot of sleep in last night. I went to bed around 8pm. I woke up around 2:30 realizing I hadnt taken my pm meds so I got up to take them but actally didnt feel hungry for once so went right back to bed. Then I woke up around 5:30, this time thinking I was hungry so got up and started eating some applesauce but 2 bites into it, I started feeling sick so I put it back in the fridge and went back to bed till 8. Then all morning and into the afternoon, I felt like I had no energy but when I would try to take a nap, I couldnt fall asleep but I kept yawning. Finally I just decided to take a shower and things seemed to turn around from there. I was able to eat a lot this afternoon along with eating a lot for dinner and I felt like I had energy now. Hopefully I ate enough today to sleep through the night without waking. Hopefully tomorrow starts off better than today did.

Update on me

I decided to try to post my update earlier tonight since lately, 8pm hits and I am comp;etely zoonked.

As I posted before, Wednesday morning, I had my orthopedics appointment then I went to my psychtherapy appointment. We basically talked about what has been giving me anxiety. I told her I have a lot of anxiety about eating still so we are going to try some Ativan 30 minutes before I eat to see if that helps. I am finding it difficult because when I wake up in the morning, I am starving and dont feel like I can wait 30 minutes to eat and then throughout the day I just munch here and there. The only time I feel it really could work is at dinner. I was given homework to jot down when I have my anxiety so maybe we can pin point it to a certain event/s
After those 2 appointments, I went home and crashed.

Thursday was my physical therapy and occupational therapy appointment. I was so worried what they were going to do during the appointment that I sent myself into a panic attack which then made me late to my appointment as I tried to calm myself down. Physical therapy wasn't bad, he just gave me some stretches to do for my back and told me to start getting exercise. Occupational therapy was a lot harder. He would stretch my fingers and hand and wrist to their maximum and thn massage over the scar where they were pulling from. It actually didn't hurt as bad during the whole thing but today my arm is throbbing. Once again, after my appointments, I was exhausted.

Today I only had one appointment. It was my trauma appointment. It was basically a waste of time. He listened to my heart and lungs. Looked at the drainage and said we will just continue to watch it. Good news hopefully is that the drainage is decreasing lately, I just hope it means it is actually decreasing and not just moved and is not collecting the area anymore. I have another CT scan coming up that I guess will determine that.

Well that is all my updates for the week. I am going to try to spend some time on the treadmill this weekend as I will not be walking outside since it is suppose to be 90+ degrees out. Hope you all stay cool this weekend.

Yes I'm still herey said tey

These last 2 days have been hard on me with appointments. Yesterday I had my orthopedics appointment at 8am followed by my psych appointment. I of course decided that right before we had to leave, I would have anxiety about the applesauce I was eating and worried that I would throw it up, which is exactly what I ended up making myself do. So after that it was very hard to get myself going because I did not feel good but finally got out the door. I arrived at the orthopedic clinic only for them to tell me that their computer shows my appointment had been cancelled but it didn't say why. They could tell it took me a lot if effort to get there so they squeezed me in. They wantemg studies on my arm in a couple of weeks to see how it is progressing and if needed to get full function back in my hand then they will do surgery as a last resort.

I will post more tomorrow as I am incredily tired now and need to sleep. Just letting you all know I was still here

Better day today

Today was a much better day today and glad it was since today was Tim and I's 2 year anniversary which we both completely forgot about. I think we have had a lot of other things on our plate lately. We actually didn't realize it was our anniversary until my sister-in-law texted us wishing us a happy anniversary. Oh well, we will just have to celebrate x 2 on our 3rd anniversary. Today is also my parents anniversary so happy anniversary to them also.

I woke up at 3am hungry and stuck to my plan of dragging my ass out of bed and eating a little something. I then went back to bed and woke at 6 hungry again. All day, I basically just snacked all day long and I think it helped. Not sure if I got in 2500 calories but I stayed satisfied all day and didn't over fill my self and make myself feel sick again. Tomorrow morning is a day full of appointments. I have an orthopedic appointment at 8 followed by my psych appointment at 9:30. I hope that she has a couch in her room because I will want to lay down after my ortho appointment. Hopefully tomorrow is another good day.

Bad day

Just a brief note so you all don't think I am in the hospital, at least not yet that is. Today has been a very rough day for me. Didn't sleep worth a damn last night for no particular reason. Visiting nurse arrived and said I wasn't eating nearly enough so I took her suggestions and it just went down hill from there. After the 2 o'clock protein shake, I started feeling nauseas, vomitted and have had severe stomach aches. I don't think my body is ready for so much food yet, I am going to go back to taking it slow and just eat in the middle of the night when my body is hungry so i don't wake up starving. My JP drain has also turned a darker color and more of it so the nurse made a call to the doctor and he was okay with it. He also said it was okay to continue to pick up landen so I will continue to do that once I feel better again. Hopefully if I stick to it of eating at night when I wake up hungry, then my mornings won't be so bad anymore. I always thought I would love the day someone told me to eat 2500 calories a day and mix everything with ice cream if needed. It is harder than I expected. Pray that this is only a brief sickness and tomorrow is a better day. I missed another whole day of Landen's life because I spent it nauseas in bed. I don't want to miss anymore, too many have been missed already.

1 month ago today

One month ago today, my terrible accident happened. I thank the lord everyday for allowing me to be here still today and I know all of your guys prayers helped with my recovery. I have come so far in such a short time and even though I wish my progress was farther, I am very thankful for the recovery I have made.

Today was a much better day. I woke up again at a little after 6 just starving again. I started with some applesauce again and then had one of my high calorie protein shakes. That seemed to satisfy me. Then I could hear Landen stirring around 6:30. He never cries when he wakes up, he is such a good boy so I just let him lay there and slowly wake up. Tim had the monitor on so I figured he would eventually get up and get Landen but after a while I realized he was so sound asleep he wasnt going to wake up so I went into Landen's room and decided to try to see if I could lift him and to my surprise it actually wasnt that difficult. Tim finally woke up later to Landen banging his toys on the ground and of course asked how he got out. I dont know if I am suppose to lift 20 lbs yet but I enjoyed being able to take care of him independently. I was even able to change his diaper. My mom came around 9am and helped clean the house. After she left around noon, I got tired and took about a 3 hr nap. The rest of the day I just spent either lounging or playing with Landen. I was able to finally eat real food tonight and wasnt scared to eat it and I ate a lot. I had 3 pieces of pizza tonight and it tasted good. Hopefully I will start to put on some weight. Hope you all had a good Sunday.

8/1/09 10:30pm

Today was kind of a downer day for me and I really dont know why. I just felt sad all day and didn't feel like doing anything at all and occasionally just broke out in tears for no reason. I think part of it is I just want so badly for everything to go back to how it use to be but I know I just have to have patience but as most of you know, this is not something I posess. I started out the day waking up at 6am absolutely starving. I have so many things that sound great to eat to me but I have so much anxiety when it comes to eating because I have a fear of it either hurting or me throwing up. I started with applesauce and ate slowly. I ate about every 2 hrs today and always felt like I was chasing hunger and was never satisfied. I stuck with simple, high fat foods today. I had mac and cheese for lunch and then again for dinner with a baked potato covered in lots of butter. I also had one of my high calorie protein shakes today. I have so much weight to put back on. I felt like I ate a lot today but yet I still always felt hungry so I have this inner fear that all my pancreatic enzymes are coming out my tube in my side and not actually digesting my food and giving me the nutrients I need. I wish I could just let all my fears go and just relax but I know that will come with time. My mom is coming to visit tomorrow so maybe tomorrow I will be in better spirits. Hope everyone else was able to enjoy this wonderful day.

The doctor's appointment

I had a lot of nausea in the night so at 4am I turned my feeding tube off so that I could get some sleep. When I woke up at 7 I still didn't feel good and my side around my JP tube was really hurting. I got some pain meds in and took my other meds and re-hooked up my feeding tube even though I still didn't feel good, I knew I needed to. We left for the doctor's office and got there around 9am and got checked in. I was still having quite a bit of pain in my side and my vitals reflected it. My BP was in the 150's and my heart rate was 111. It didn't take too long for the resident to come in and examine me. He said they would take a sample of the drain fluid and call me later in the day with results. The nurse then came in and took some of the fluid and we waited to see the doctor. About 20 minutes later, the resident poked his head in and said they wanted too see what the results were before we left so they could take action if necessary, so we waited and waited. Over 2 hrs in the room we waited. Finally, the doctor came in. She said that it took the lab a while to get the level because it was so high it couldn't be measured. It was over 250,000 again. Tears started swelling up in my eyes. I asked how could that be? She said she didn't know so she talked to the head pancreatic surgeon of the university and he said it can happen and since it has now been a month since the surgery, he said to take the feeding tube out and let me eat and my body will heal itself. I kept asking are you serious? She was like, well do you want it out or not. Of course I wanted it out. YEAH!!! No more feeding tube, as long as I can eat and tolerate food, otherwise it goes back in and it wasn't pleasant coming out. So I am on a clear liquid diet for today and can start normal food slowly tomorrow. So far I have had a whole can of chicken broth and am feeling fine so hopefully things will go well. I am just super glad to have the feeding tube out. I still have to have the drain in my side but I can totally handle that much more than the feeding tube. Please pray that I am able to start eating normally again with no trouble so I don't have to have the feeding tube again and that my pancreas continues to heal like they said it would. I go back in another week for a check up again.

7/30/09 7:30 pm

Today was a litle bit of a better day. I started the day with nausea however that just wouldnt go away. Finally around noon I felt better and a nice shower helped me feel better. This afternoon I felt like I had a lot more energy. I was able to get a few minor things done around the house. I am having quite a bit of pain where they messed with my JP drain before I left the hospital that I just cant seem to shake off. I have my follow-up doctors appointment to test the amylase level tomorrow so I will ask them about the pain then. On a good note, I only had 1 anxiety attack today and I caught it early so it was minor. I have never had anxiety before so any of you that suffer from it, I totally feel for you. It is absolutely horrible if I let it get full blown. I will completely have sympathy for my patients in the future who say they suffer from anxiety. Please keep me in you prayers tonight that my amylase level will be down so that I am that much closer to getting this feeding tube out and back to eating normal food. I miss food.

My 1st post back home

Well this last week has been rough on me. A week ago today I woke up thought I was feeling fine. I got showered and got ready to take Landen to his 9 month appointment. I drank my protein shake and we headed out the door. The minute we started driving, I started not feeling good. I started getting hot flashes and my stomach started churning. We arrived at the hospital, I opened the door and got sick on the side walk. After that I did feel a little better. We made it through the appointment and back home and I was exhausted. I collapsed on the couch. Things just got worse from then. I didnt know what it was but I knew something wasn't right. I laid down in my bed and became entirely weak. I could barely keep my eyes open. Finally about 9pm that night, I made Tim take me to the ER. I didn't know if I just needed fluids or what but I knew I needed something.
They put me in a room and tested the fluid coming from my drain. The amylase level was over 200,000 and my white count was over 19,000. It was determined that I had a bad pancreatic leak and a possible infection. So they admitted me. They did a CT scan and saw a pocket of fluid around the pancreas, the same one the saw on the CT scan in Des Moines but decided that this time it needed to be drained and my pancreas needed to rest.
The nest day I was taken to interventional radiology and the placed a new drain that would drain that pocket of fluid. Then a feeding tube was placed through my nose, down the back of my throat through the stomach, through the 1st part of the small bowel and into the second part of the small bowel. This tube gives me nutrients with out making the pancreas work.
On Monday, they measured the amylase level in the drain again and this time it was down to 89,000. Much better but it has to be less than 1,000 before they will take the tube out of my nose. I have an appointment on Friday to remeasure the level. Please pray that my pancreas is healing and my level will be less than 1,000 so I may get this tube out. With it being down my throat, I get nauseas a lot and lately I have been struggling with a lot of anxiety. Pray that I make it through these next few days of my pancreas healing and that it may heal fast so I can get this tube out of my nose. Thanks for all your continued prayers throughout this struggle in my recovery. Will try to keep you updated with my progress.

Lindsay

She's Home

My mom went over this afternoon and took Lindsay home from the hospital. The feeding tube and the JP tube are still in. The levels from her JP tube were still high so they are testing her again on Friday to see if they can possibly remove it then.

I'm sure she still has a long road ahead of her but is probably thrilled to death to be back home and hopefully will be back to posting here soon!!

More News

The big news for today is that her wrist is awake. She took her brace off today and she was able to lift her wrist up. She has not been able to do that in the 3 1/2 weeks since the accident so to her this is huge.

Right now the JP tube is still in. They think there might be a blockage in it but they don't seem too concerned and may still take it out today or tomorrow.

Her hope is that if her X-rays and CT scan come back ok they will release her today or tomorrow. Her feeding tube will stay in for now but I think she is ok with that as long as she gets to go home.

Much of the Same

Lindsay had much of the same kind of day today. They took her for either and MRI or a CT scan (my mom wasn't sure and I didn't want to call since she didn't really want to talk to anyone) and it took two hours so she was pretty down after that.

They also took X-rays of her back and neck to try to make sure there were no additional injuries and determine when she can go without the brace.

The big news for today is that she was able to touch her thumb and her index finger together on her left hand so they are hopeful that part of that nerve is starting to wake up.

Sunday Recap

Today has been a REALLY tough day for Lindsay. She is mentally worn down and ready to just be done and go home. She has been sick to her stomach a lot even though the feeding tube is bypassing her stomach.

They had been trying to give her meds orally which I think was upsetting her stomach so they decided they would try to put those in her feeding tube.

She had a visit from the Neurosurgeon and he said he is pretty sure there is a fracture in one of her vertebrae so she had to continue to wear the turtle shell brace for another couple of weeks. They also looked at her arm today and said that the nerve will only heal about 1 mm per day and so it could take a couple months for it to heal and 3 - 6 months for her to regain full usage.


They took a sample of the fluid coming out of her JP Tube and are sending it off to test the levels. If they come back low they could possibly take the JP Tube out as early as tomorrow but they are not really giving her any answers as to how long the feeding tube will be in after they remove the JP tube. Best she could get from them was anywhere from 2 days to 6 weeks.

Overall, I think it was just a tough day for her. My mom said she broke down when Tim left and again when they left. She is tired of being in pain, tired of feeling sick and just wants to go home.

Any thoughts and prayers that you would have for her tonight I'm sure would be appreciated.

Saturday Update

Lindsay had kind of a rough day today. She was sick to her stomach and throwing up this morning and this afternoon. She finally called my parents about 4:00 or so and asked them to come and stay with her tonight.

They are still feeding her and they are unsure why she is getting sick at this time since the tube bypasses her stomach all together and goes straight into her intestines.

They were going to giver her some anti-nausea medicine in the hopes that would settle her stomach while they try to figure out why it is that she is feeling so ill.

Hopefully they can get this figured out as I'm sure it is discouraging to Lindsay to know she is getting fed but still feeling sick.

July 24th, 8:15 PM

I just got off the phone with Lindsay. I was amazed when I called to actually get to talk to my sister again. For so long it has sounded like it was so painful for her to speak and move about but tonight she sounded alert, alive and awake. Sort of like her old self.

Landen and Tim were there and she was laughing at Landen and seemed to be in very good spirits.

They stopped the tube feeding once after she got sick this morning and then started it again. Then had to stop it this afternoon when they found out it was pumping too much air in so according to Lindsay at the moment the main reason they are keeping her is to try to get the tube feedings regulated.

She seems to feel like once they get that done they will send her home, with the tube. Possibly by Sunday or Monday.

As much as she has resisted the tube I think it has done wonders for her mentally and physically. She's not stressed about eating enough because he knows she is getting it and her body has all the nutrients it needs to start really healing.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a continuation of this evenings good news and this setback will soon be behind her.

July 24th, 11:30 AM

I just spoke to Lindsay on the phone. She said that she was able to keep her counseling appointment for this morning that she fought so hard to get. They just wheeled her right over there and she felt like it helped. They wanted to give her some medicine but she said she doesn't want anything right now, just someone to talk to. So that's what she's doing, just going to talk to someone to help get through the next few weeks.

When I talked to her she said that she had just gotten sick so they had turned the feedings off for a bit to let her settle down. There is nothing in her stomach so I was confused as to how that could be making her ill but apparently even though the food is all going straight to her intestines it can still have some affect on making her feel ill.

Either way, she had to let me go because it was nap time. :-)

July 24th, 7:30 AM

Lindsay had a fairly decent night. She seems to be tolerating the feedings well although she said it still feels like she is hungry all the time. My mom said that she is down to 130 pounds which is about 15 - 20 lbs underweight for her.

They are now thinking that perhaps with her pancreas not working right even though she was eating she was not getting many if any nutrients from what she was eating. So, they are hoping with putting the tube feeding in she can get some strength back and that will help her tremendously in her recovery.

Other than that, there is not much to report she doesn't really have a definitive answer on how long she will be there or what things they are looking to have happen before they allow her to go home so she's just hanging out letting time take time.

July 23rd, 5:30 PM

All of the procedures are done for the day. They ended up removing her current JP tube and replacing/repositioning it meaning she still only has one in her stomach instead of two. They are comfortable that the repositioning has worked and that the fluid that was building up just above her JP tube will now drain out of the tube along with any pancreatic secretions.

The feeding tube is also in and they have begun feeding her a high calorie, high fiber liquid diet which should give her some of her strength back and also allow her pancreas some time to rest and heal it's self.

Thank you all for all of your well wishes and prayers. Hopefully Lindsay will be feeling much better in a couple of days!!

July 23rd, 1:00 PM

Just got a phone call from my mother. The verdict is two more tubes and several more days in the hospital.

They are going to put another drainage tube above her JP tube to drain out the fluid which they think is responsible for the infection and that just refuses to go away. They are leaving the JP tube in since it is still draining meaning the pancreas is still leaking.

Since the pancreas is still leaking and since she is having pain in that area they have decided it needs a time out to get it's act together. So, a feeding tube will be inserted past her stomach into her intestines. What I have been told is that this will allow her pancreas to rest since it will not be producing anything to help with digestion and it will also allow Lindsay to get some much needed calories and get her strength up to help with the healing process.

I have not talked to Lindsay but I'm sure that this has got to be hard for her. They are transferring her care to Iowa City so the doctors are in the process of transferring from her specialists here to her specialists there.

All of her therapists are also going to come to the hospital to see her so she doesn't have to be set back any days on that. Her first appointment starts at 8:00 tomorrow.

Hopefully these two tubes will do their job and she will be out of the hospital by this weekend or early next week and on the road to recovery once again. I will stick around to post until she is able to resume once again.

Thank you all for your prayers. Keep them coming, she is not through healing yet!!

July 23rd, 9:45 AM

Just spoke to my mom. She has arrived at the hospital but they still had no word. They are not feeding her right now because her JP tube is still draining indicating that her pancreas is still leaking so they are waiting for the attending doctor to make the call as to whether to feed her or insert a feeding tube.

They did start her on antibiotics to try to clear up the infection which they were able to avoid last week but apparently could not today.

Other than that, they are just waiting for the attending physician to come and see her and make the final calls.

Bump In The Road

I had hoped that I would not be back here again, unfortunately.... here I am.

When Lindsay was in the hospital they told us there would be bumps in the road. I think we were hoping for something along the lines of those little butt ticklers that they have before stop signs.

Instead we got a speed bump. A nice, large speed bump.

Last night Lindsay was admitted into the hospital. She threw up yesterday morning and then was having stomach pains last night. After Tim got home they went and got her and enema thinking that might be the problem but while it worked it did not take away the pain. Then she threw up again so off to the ER they went.

Her white count was elevated meaning some sort of infection and the text I got from her at 3:00 this morning was that they were admitting her and may have to drain the fluid. I'm assuming she is referring to the pocket of fluid above her JP tube that they were having troubles getting under control right before she left the hospital.

At this point any prayers would be appreciated. I'm sure she is scared and in pain and really not wanting to be back in the hospital. She is in Iowa City now, not in Des Moines so my mom is going to drive over this morning.

Another day, another step forward

Good news today is I think my pain is starting to lessen because I felt over medicated today. I take 3 Oxycotin tabs at 8 am and after that today I just felt like my head was floating all day. Since Oxycotin is long acting pain relief I unfortunately felt like that all day, but didnt have to take any Percocet today so tomorrow I am going to try to only take two and see how I feel and use the Percocet for breakthrough pain if I need it.

The one stressfull thing I am dealing with right now is trying to find a therapist just to talk about all this to since my memories of it are so vivid. I have called the office for 2 days now, trying to get an appointment and have left messages but nobody has called me back. You would think when you are dealing with someone's mental emotions you would call them back. Tomorrow Landen has his 9 month appointment at the hospital. I think I will find the psych clinic and just show up demanding an appointment. They can't ignore me then.

The one thing that made me really happy today was we put Landen in his walker on the kitchen floor for the first time and he learned how to push himself backwards in circles around the floor and the he would run into walls and keep pushing and whining until we would turn him around and he would get going again. It was so much fun just watching him go.

Today was a better day

I feel today was a better day I feel. I still woke up in the middle of the night with some pain and hunger so I ate one of my nutritional shakes and took some meds and went back to bed. I woke up again at 6 with some pain but it wasnt time for meds yet so I put my shell on and went to the living room, put an ice pack on my back and a heating pad on my stomach and was able to sleep again till 8. I am trying harder to eat more during the day so that I may stop waking up in hunger but I still have that feeling that the minute I start eating I feel absolutely stuffed and cant eat more than a couple of bites. I am able to get down my nutritional shakes so that I am trying to keep up my calories but I wish I could eat normal food. I feel like a gastric by-pass patient. Any suggestions on how to get myself to eat more would be great. I just don't know what to do but give it time. The pain has been decent today. The eyesight is much better, if not back to almost normal. Pray for a goodnight and another better day of healing tomorrow.

Thanks for the prayers from the previous post. He is out of ICU and in a normal room. He has a lot of pain still so please pray that they are able to get his pain under control.

Goodnight for now.

Update and Prayers needed for someone else.

Last night was a bad night for sleeping. I had a lot of pain and couldn't fall asleep. By 2am when it was time to take another pain med, I did what I shouldn't off and took 2. They had already cut me down from what I was taking in the hospital so taking 2 was not much more than what I was taking in the hospital, and I was in so much pain I didnt care. I know what you are all thinking, the doctor is not following doctors orders but I just needed the pain to go away for a little while. It worked wonders. I felt so great after that that I was able to fall fast asleep and sleep comfortable till almost 9 so I didnt take another pain pill till 10 so I took 2 in an 8 hr time period and I normally had been taking 1 every 4 hrs soI think my relief from pain by taking 2 was well worth it.

The visiting nurse showed up again and helped relieve some of my anxiety. She talked to someone about my high heart rate and they said it was normal reaction to all the trauma I have been through and will slowly go down. Today it was only between 98-102 so getting better. I also had her check by blood sugar since I had to have some insulin shots in the hospital, I have the anxiety that I will develop diabetes now. It was only 108 so more things to calm down about. I am glad that she is coming to help just reassure me that I am doing fine. Sometimes too much knowledge about things can make you go crazy.

My parents and Debbie brought up more of our furniture that we purchased at American awhile ago. Now we are just missing one chair and we will have everything here finally that we purchased. They moved in all our furniture and set it up, and really helped unpack a lot of boxes and also helped with the yard some. I of course laid on the couch but it was a relief see the house get unpacked knowing that I wouldn't be able to get at it anytime soon. They got a lot done today and the place looks more and more like our home now.

Landen's still running a small fever but he is being such a good boy with all this. He is truly the best baby. He is starting to army crawl every where so Tim is going to buy a baby gate tomorrow so he doesn't fall down the stairs. I really don't need that in the midst of all this.

Now for the extra prayers needed. A guy that works for my parents and has been since I was really little had another heart attack today. He had a minor one earlier this month and we hoped that would be it, Well he was racking hay in my parents field today and felt a small pain. It went away but then a stronger one came on and luckily he had his nitro on him and his cell phone and called 911. They got him to the cath lab early and he had 1 artery that was 100% blocked. They got it stented and he is now in the ICU. We are unsure of the amount of damage it has caused yet. I had my grandmother's gaurdian angel over my bed the whole time I was in hospital and it worked for me so mom is taking it to go hang above his bed. I have witnessed how much you guy's prayers can truly help so I am asking you all to pray for him tonight. May he make a quick, speedy, and complete recovery and that this be his last heart attack.

Well, I should head to bed for the night. Hopefully tonight will be better. God bless you all.

1st Trip to the ER

And I wasnt the patient.

Landen was fussy this AM and felt warm. 99.7, so we figured he was just teathing again. We gave him some Mortin and seemed to be doing better. Still a little fussier than normal but like I said, we just chalked it up teething. Tim and Landen went grocery shopping and when they got back, Tim put Landen down for a nap and went outside to do yard work. I fell asleep on the couch for a while and when I woke up, I realized Landen had been sleeping for a while so I decided to go check on him. I put my trutle shell on and opened his door and saw him stiring so I walked around his crib and the minute he saw me, he just started crying. I put my hand down on him to tell him he was okay and I was going to go get daddy to get him and he was burning up. Of ourse my high level of anxiety kicked in and I started panicing because I couldnt do anything about it. I started crying hysterically and couldn't stop. I walked outside and started yelling for Tim. I couldn't find him and of course in he mean time the cat gets outside the door. I tried to chase her in but she just ran off the deck. I left her and went to the front of the house and started yelling for Tim. Still couldn't find him and still crying hysterically. I went back inside going to try his phone when he finally appeared. Don't know where he came from. Luckily the cat let him walk right up to her and he got her in. Then he picked up Landen and took his temp. 103.0 and I start crying more. I said he needed to go to the ER, I wasnt going to take chances since he has been visiting me in the hospital, who knows what he could of picked up. I also knew if I didnt go with, my anxiety would be worse so I said I was going, I didnt know where any shoes were so I threw on my slippers that I left the hospital in yesturday. The whole way there I couldn't stop crying. I just felt this was all my fault that he picked up something from visiting me. By the time we got to the ER I had started to calm down but now I was in a lot of pain from all the anxiety. Found out he has an ear infection. Felt bad that they were having to wheel around the non-patient in the wheelchair. Picked up Landen's prescription and went home. Now I am on the couch trying to relax and be calm and Landen has gone to bed for the evening. Not something I really looked forward to dealing with on my 1st day home. Hopefully I will sleep well tonight.

1st night and day home

Well last night we made it home. It was so nice to be home in my own bed. The last few nights in the hospital, I really wasnt getting any sleep. I would either wake up every half hour to 45 mins in either pain or anxiety and not be able to fall back asleep. Last night was so much better. I slept staight till I either had to pee or take meds. Around 3, I woke up and just had to move so I put on my turtle shell and walked out to the kitchen for some water and a protein shake. I laid on the couch and watched some TV and fell right asleep. I woke up at 4:30 and went back to bed till Landen woke us up. I am still realy saddened by the fact that I cant hold him. When he was crawling around on the ground this morning, if he would start crying, I could do nothing for him. The visiting nurse came today to assess me. So far she thinks I am doing well but, like me is concerned with my high heart beat (120's). It has been like this since being in the hospital but nobody would tell me why they weren't concerned. She is going to try to call the doctor and find out. Other than that, the pain is undercontrol. I have occasional bouts of random crying which I guess is to be expected with all that I have gone through. Pray that each day gets better, that I slowly regain function of my left hand and someday soon I will get to hold my precious boy again.

Thank you all once again for everything you have done for me and all the prayers you have sent my way. God has truly given me a miricle and I cant even fathom where I am going to begin repaying you all

On the Road

Lindsay's room is packed, her appointments are made and in less than an hour she will be on the road back to her house. I can't believe how far she has come yet I'm so happy for her to be able to be going home.

I have a feeling there will be many trips to her house in my future.

For the time being I have shown her how to work the blog and given her administrator privileges to her own blog (go figure). So, I will be signing off. If she needs me to, I will gladly post on her behalf.

If she doesn't, thank you ALL for reading and for your thoughts and prayers for Lindsay. I shall be returning to my little corner of cyberspace:

www.hamiltonfamilycircus.com

Feel free to visit me there.

July 16th, 10:15 AM

The phone just rang. The caller ID said Lindsay. I had didn't realize till just that moment how much I missed seeing that. It surprised me a bit.

"Hello?"

"I'm going home....."

There are no words to describe what I'm feeling right now. Only tears of joy for my baby sister....

With Style and Grace....

If I could send one message to my sister this morning it would be this. She is so much stronger than even I realized when all of this started.

Kick Ass and Take Names Lindsay!! :-)

July 17th, 7:00 AM

Lindsay had a bit of a rough night but this has become common for her so she's kind of used to it. Her back and her stomach were bothering her quite a bit. My mom was concerned that perhaps with the pain she experiences at night she might not be ready to go home just yet. The doctor in her answered:

"We send people home with pain all of the time. It's normal. I'll be fine."

So now it's a waiting game. She was up this morning, did some walking, did a few stairs, sat in the lobby for awhile. Just trying to get up, get moving and get better. She is hopeful the doctors will be in sometime this morning to make the decision on where she will spend her weekend.

From what I understand, if the trauma surgeons sign off on her going home, she will be going home. If they say she can leave the hospital but should stay around here she will be going to my parents house. If they say she must say, she will obviously be staying. Either in that room or in Younkers.

So... now we wait....

Head to Toe with Lindsay Jo

I haven't done one of these in awhile and I feel like I am kind of missing some of the smaller updates since I am not with her all of the time so I'm going to just do a run down here so we have it for the record. (Anything in blue or purple depending on your computer screen is a link to explain that term. If you click on it, it will take you there.)

Head - She has a large bruise/scab on the back of her head from where she hit when she fell to the ground after the semi released her. She says it doesn't hurt all that badly and it seems to be healing well but is most likely still the cause of her double vision.

Eyes - She still suffers from mild double vision. The neurologist said that in trauma accidents the most common injury/complaint is double vision and left eye palsy. She appears to have had both. Her left eye is now tracking appropriately so at least that part has healed but she still has a bit of double vision. The part of her head that is injured is by the visual cortex of her brain so it is possible this is also causing some of the double vision. The neurologist was not concerned about it and seemed confident that it would eventually repair it's self.


Left Arm - Her arm was broken in three places. The Humerus just above the elbow and the Ulna & Radius just below the elbow. They fixed the bones with plates and screws so she has not needed a cast and just recently go the staples out from where they did the surgery. Her radial nerve was also damaged and this is the part that the orthopedic doctors are telling her will take the longest to heal. Yesterday occupational therapy came in and gave her some exorcises to start and also a brace (much like a carpal tunnel brace) to stabilize her wrist until she gets some of the movement back in it. The doctors seemed very confident that she would recover use of her arm but that it would just take time.


Diaphragm - Her diaphragm was ruptured in the accident. They sewed up the tear in it and she has not really had any problems to speak of. It was given a chance to sort of rest when she was on the ventilator and seems to be working appropriately as she is no longer requiring oxygen to breath.

Ribs - Several of the ribs on her left side were broken and several of the ribs on her right side were cracked. There is no surgery that they can do for this so it is just a matter of time for them to heal. A lot of the reason that she needed the chest tubes for so long was that there was bleeding and drainage from the ribs being damaged that they were trying to drain out of her chest cavity.

Lungs - Both lungs were bruised but seem to be recovering nicely

Stomach - Her stomach basically exploded and had to be sewn back up. This has caused her some problems with trying to eat enough. She didn't eat for several days and then when she started she has been having some stomach pains so she has to eat little bites at a time. She is slowly getting there but they are still somewhat worried about her calorie intake so they are monitoring her closely.

Kidney - Her left Kidney was pulled away from the attaching blood vessels and was essentially dead when the surgeons opened her up. It was removed but her right kidney seems to have picked up the slack and is functioning nicely.

Spleen - Her spleen had been transected (excuse me if that's not the right term) and had to be removed. From what I understand a person can live a normal life with out a spleen but her risk for infection and illness is somewhat higher so she will just have to be a bit more careful not to get sick and will have to take care of herself when she is sick.

Pancreas - Her Pancreas was also transected but was able to be saved. For awhile it appeared as if she might have trouble maintaining her blood sugar levels and they were giving her insulin shots. However, her pancreas has finally stepped up to the plate and appears to be doing it's job effectively as they stopped monitoring her blood sugar and she has not had to have another insulin shot.

Bowels - Her bowels were bruised and some of the blood vessels were torn away. There was some concern when all of this started that perhaps she might have to have some of them removed but all seems to be working in that area of her stomach so that is a good thing.

Vertebrae - 10 of her Vertebrae had the transverse Processes broken off and there may or may not be a hairline fracture between L6 & L7 (I believe that's right... I know it was lower back). So right now Lindsay wears a turtle shell brace anytime she is not in bed. It is not the most comfortable but it keeps her straight until her back can heal a bit.

Pelvis & Legs - Her pelvis and Legs seem to have been untouched by the accident. When she first got up and was walking she had some pain in one of her knees but that seems to have subsided and could just have been from being in bed for 10 days.

Listing it all out like that really makes it hit home just how lucky she is to be alive and not only alive but doing as well as she is doing. Keep the prayers coming that Lindsay will continue to do well and will eventually make a full recovery!!

July 16th, 8:17 PM

I just watched the clock roll over again. Two weeks ago today. Two weeks... has it really been that long?

Yet when I look at the progress that she has made, the fact that they might let her go home tomorrow I can't believe it hasn't been much longer.

A lot of bad things have happened to me and I have been in the emotional place Lindsay is. The flashbacks are hell and you are afraid to close your eyes. Tonight, on this two week anniversary, Lindsay... I wish you peace.

I hope that you know that the bad times won't last forever and that someday very soon you will laugh again. Stay strong. I'm here for you!!

July 16th, 7:00 PM

Yes, the text from Erica was accurate. Assuming her doctors sign off on it, tomorrow they will be kicking Lindsay to the curb.

Do not pass go.

Do not collect $200

Out

Back to her house and back to trying to put her life back together. The difference in her these last couple of days is amazing.

Unfortunately, you can also see the pain in her eyes now. She remembers the accident. She is having horrible flashbacks. Her anxiety is crippling at times. They have been trying to control it with the Atavian and once she gets home she will find a competent mental health professional to help her. I just hope she knows that we are all here for her and that if she needs to yell and scream and cry we will all be doing it with her.

As I was getting ready to leave she looked at the clock and exclaimed, I want Chicken Strips with Ranch Dressing. I only have two minutes to order them. So hopefully us getting her out and her seeing her son is helping her to relieve some of the stress.

Plus I'm sure she just wants to go home, sleep in her own bed and try to feel normal again. So for her sake, I hope the doctor recognizes that and she gets to leave tomorrow.

July 16th, 4:00 PM

The text from Erica reads:

She just did Stairs!! & therapist dsnt think she needs younkers! holy smokes

I'm not sure how many stairs she did but apparently enough that the therapist is now thinking that she may not need to go to Younkers after all. I think for Lindsay this would be huge because she really wants to get back home and start living her life again.

I'm going with Zack tonight to visit so I will be able to ask more questions then but AMAZING how far she has come!!

July 16th, 1:00 PM

First of all... I just have to mention here that this website is now the Number One Result if you Google Lindsay's Fight. So if you are trying to tell someone how to get here, that is now another way. Just make sure they spell her name with an A.

For those of you non-bloggy nerds out there, this is a HUGE achievement and a testament to just how many people visit her and check on her each day. It took me 3 years to get Hamilton Family Circus on the first page and Lindsay is already the #1 result. She has over 2,000 hits per day.

That's a lot of Love and Prayers and Support!! So thank you ALL!!

Moving on, Lindsay was doing well when I got there to check on her. She was sitting up in her chair eating. She is still having a hard time getting in very many calories as she feels full pretty quickly so she is still getting most of her calories from Enlives and Ensures.

I was there only about 15 - 20 minutes before she started to have more anxiety. She said she feels like she needs to cry but she can't because she's afraid it will hurt. I think she just needs to let it all out. She's been through so much she deserves a good cry!! :-)

So when I left Erica and my mom were going to push her down to the court yard to see if getting her out of the hospital would help her feel a bit better.

They are still talking like they will transfer her tonight or tomorrow so who knows, when I get there at 6:00 tonight she may already be in Younkers. I have seen how many gifts and plants she has in her room (I had to help move her the last two times) so I can't say as I will be too bummed if I miss out on this move!! :-)

July 16th, 7:00 AM

Lindsay had a fantastic night. She slept well, except for that small stretch around 11:00 PM where they had shift change and decided that she needed to wiggle her toes and fingers and all of that fun stuff while she was SLEEPING!!

After they left her to rest in peace she got quite a bit of sleep until about 5:30. At that point she had a mild panic attack so Tim and her went for a stroll around the 5th floor. She did a couple of laps and was feeling a bit better but not 100%.

So when my mom got there at 6:30 she told her she just needed to get out. So out they went. The hospital has a garden area with a playground and they went and sat out there for awhile. It seemed to really help with her anxiety to be able to get out of that hospital room so perhaps if you come to visit her and she is not in her room look outside her window to the garden and that's where she may be.

Speaking of visitors, she has given the green light for you all to start coming. Yesterday my friend Jess went and said she was sitting up in bed reading her e-mail so I think she is feeling pretty good. I would say if you are coming at night try to come before 8:00 because after that she is pretty well worn out.

Every day I am reminded of what a miracle she really is. The fact that they are talking about moving her to rehab today or tomorrow when just last week we were unsure if she would ever get out of bed is absolutely AMAZING!!

Keep all the prayers and good wishes coming. She is making amazing strides!!

July 15th, 8:00 PM

Lindsay has continued with her great run into this evening. She ate some dinner and they were trying to replace her IV. Even though she only receives one medicine through it they want her to have it in case they need it.

They were not having much luck as her veins are shot so we shall see whether they can get one in or if they give up.

Other than that her pain control seemed to be really good today and that meant that she was doing really well. She told a friend of mine that she planned to be home next Friday and back to work by August 1st. Maybe August 15th.... :-)

July 15th, 3:00 PM

The word from the hospital is that Lindsay ate ALL of her pasta that they brought her for lunch, took a one hour nap and has now done TWO laps of the 5th floor.

At this pace she will be in rehab in no time.

She credits keeping on top of her pain medications. She said something about the basal dose of Percocet and then getting a bolus dose also and yesterday she tried to go without the bolus dose and that wasn't a good idea or some such medical jargon!! :-)

Either way she seems to be feeling MUCH better and I just pray that the healing continues!!

July 15th, 1:00 PM

I just went to visit Lindsay. WOW!! That's all I have to say. The difference in how she looks is absolutely AMAZING!! She was sitting up in bed, coherent and looking very well.

She has opened the flood gates for visitors. Her only warning is that she can't guarantee when nap time is and she probably won't wake up if she is all medicated to the hilt so come at your own risk. You may want to see if you can track down one of the lovely people that is staying with her just to double check her consciousness. Especially if you are traveling any sort of distance.

We are hoping to recover her cell phone from Tim tonight so hopefully she will be able to have that in her room and it can be answered by whomever her "on-call" person is as they have yet to leave her for more than 10 mintues without one of us there.

Other than that, they are now talking like they will move her to rehab either tomorrow or Friday. This is a HUGE jump from where we were a week ago when they were just moving her out of ICU and a million years away from where we were almost two weeks ago.

July 15th, 11:00 AM

Lindsay had a fairly decent morning. They took the staples out of her stomach and they let her take a shower. We were originally told she could have one with the JP Tube still in but the doctor decided that it was ok.

I'm sure she has got to feel 100% better having had a full scrub down.

Dad said she was feeling much better pain wise this morning and laid down for a nap at 10:00.

July 15th, 7:00 AM

Last night was a tough night for Lindsay. All the moving and shaking she did yesterday sort of caught up with her and she wasn't able to get comfortable or really get any rest.

They ended up giving her two shots of morphine in the night, which she has been trying to avoid, and she finally got a few hours of sleep but was up again by the time my mom got there at 6:30.

I imagine it is a lot like when you go to the gym and exercise after not doing it for awhile. The next day you are really sore but you kind of have to push through it. My mom said she was ordering some Enlive this morning and and talking about getting up and walking some more so hopefully she will be able to push through this.

July 14th, 9:00 PM

Lindsay had a good evening tonight. She walked another full round of the 5th floor and has been given clearance to move around as much as she wants so tomorrow it might be two rounds before she take sa break.

She didn't eat much supper but she has been drinking her Enlive so that is at least something.

My parents said when they left she was really worn out and her pain was starting to come back. So they had talked about giving her another bath and then getting her pills and going to bed.

The staples came out of her arm today and the plan is for the staples to come out of her stomach tomorrow.

However, with the small collection of fluid just above her JP Tube they are planning to leave that in for another few days.

All in all, I think it was a very good evening for her and I hope that she gets some good rest tonight so she can start again tomorrow.

July 14th 6:00 PM

Well, Lindsay had an eventful afternoon after her magic soup. Erica informs me that her and Lindsay have bonded on a whole new level after today. She was there for Lindsay when she had some intestinal issues and also there to rescue her J.P. tube from between her legs a few times.

Good girl bonding I think!! :-)

Also, her friend Melissa visited her this afternoon. Lindsay was telling Melissa how she had just gotten the staples out of her arm. She then proceeded to inform her that she did still have staples in her stomach though and then she showed her.

Game.

Set.

Match.

First she didn't feel well, then she sat down, next thing they know she was lying on the floor about to pass out. For the first time in her hospital stay Lindsay had to use her hospital call button to call for help for someone other than her self.

The nurse came in and offered her a cold compress but Melissa declined and eventually was able to remove herself from the hospital floor. I hope she sanitizes those clothes when she gets home....

I guess the nurse came back after about a half an hour not to check on Lindsay but to check on Melissa. I'm pretty sure she may never live that one down. :-O

Other than that, Lindsay did a full lap around the 5th floor and when I got off the phone with Erica she was ordering her own meal for dinner. So I would say this is a HUGE improvement off of where she was yesterday and even this morning.

Hopefully this is her turning a corner and they can finally get her pain managed and she can get about the business of getting herself better.